More people are writing about the reality of motherhood, I wonder if more will be written about the reality of marriage? In recent conversations here on Substack writers have discussed the issues of how much to expose other people's lives and the perils of memoir. It seems these issues of consent, exposure and speaking our story would be issues in talking about marriage more openly too. I can see the potential for talking about marriage to bot wound a marriage further and to heal it depending on how it is done. Tricky areas to navigate but important.
Yes the question of consent is interesting. For full disclosure, I told my husband I was writing about marriage and he said 'don't write about me', so it's interesting to wonder if I would have written a different version of this essay had he not said that.
I think lots of spouses would have said the same thing. It's interesting though, I really enjoyed your essay and found it very thought provoking but realised as I started thinking about exposure and consent that you hadn't said anything particularly personal or revealing about your own relationship which makes sense in the context of respecting your husband's wishes.
Thanks for the pointer to Pankaj Mishra’s piece. Heavy going, but thought provoking. Like many people, I think, I started out feeling some sympathy with Israel's reaction to the Hamas attack (particularly because I have a personal connexion to one of the kibbutz targetted), but there is little doubt that things have now gone way too far. PM's analysis is very enlightening - and also frightening!
More people are writing about the reality of motherhood, I wonder if more will be written about the reality of marriage? In recent conversations here on Substack writers have discussed the issues of how much to expose other people's lives and the perils of memoir. It seems these issues of consent, exposure and speaking our story would be issues in talking about marriage more openly too. I can see the potential for talking about marriage to bot wound a marriage further and to heal it depending on how it is done. Tricky areas to navigate but important.
Yes the question of consent is interesting. For full disclosure, I told my husband I was writing about marriage and he said 'don't write about me', so it's interesting to wonder if I would have written a different version of this essay had he not said that.
I think lots of spouses would have said the same thing. It's interesting though, I really enjoyed your essay and found it very thought provoking but realised as I started thinking about exposure and consent that you hadn't said anything particularly personal or revealing about your own relationship which makes sense in the context of respecting your husband's wishes.
:)
Thanks for the pointer to Pankaj Mishra’s piece. Heavy going, but thought provoking. Like many people, I think, I started out feeling some sympathy with Israel's reaction to the Hamas attack (particularly because I have a personal connexion to one of the kibbutz targetted), but there is little doubt that things have now gone way too far. PM's analysis is very enlightening - and also frightening!
Thank you for the tip off about Harry Baker’s move to Substack. I am now subscribing. 😊