It’s such a hard subject to talk about outside a faith context. You have to grapple with all the (mostly) negative perceptions people have about believers. Then I see how some people of faith behave publicly and I cringe. I grappled with it hard when I became a Christian in my thirties from an entirely atheist position and background. Through grappling cane freedom. Stay courageous Grace!
Thank you for sharing Grace. I too did not talk about God much when I was in school. I think I asked my friends once if they were Christian and they claimed to be just because their parents or grandparents claimed to be Christian. They had never set foot in a church or read a bible and did not in any way have a relationship with God. I feel there are a lot of people in England who claim to be Christian just because England is said to be a Christian nation, as though Christianity is by birth just like nationality.
Personally, I grew up in a Christian family. During my time in England I went to a small church and became part of that church’s community in Worksop. However, because my friends didn’t believe in God, my relationship with God was luke-warm and I would go to church just to tick the register (religion). At this point in my life, my relationship with God through Jesus Christ is at the best it has ever been and he is everything to me, my creator, father, friend, comfort, deliverer, the list goes on.
Thank you very much for sharing this Grace. I find myself writing a lot about the religiosity and rules and ridiculousness of church rather than about God. I feel it makes me sound critical and cynical and occasionally ashamed that I can’t be more positive but I am increasingly seeing (in spite of how people use words about God or talk the talk), a decreasing sense of God and spirituality in the church. Many people I think do want to talk about faith, they just don’t get church... I like to say I have a faith rather than I am religious... I want to read this a couple more times as you have said much in it and this is just a jerk initial reaction to the points you make.
I feel this so deeply Grace. Religion ruined my relationship with God - when I left the religion I’d been a part of from birth to 27, everyone assumed I’d left God behind too but they’re not really linked at all (especially in that particular religion). Thank you for being honest and open and sharing your version of God so beautifully x
Ahh thanks Lorna. I think lots of people feel conflicted about the religion side of things. I hope that you have some space to encounter God these days too.
Reading this, I realise that I feel the same way about God as I do music. Both were taught to me quite clinically at school, the focus on theory and the ‘talking about’ with no freedom to really feel. I wasn’t allowed to play music as I wanted to, and the version of God/religion we were taught was dogmatic and harsh (I was sent to Catholic school). So I rejected both for years. Only now, decades later, am I finding freedom to play music as I really want to, by ear, and shake off the theoretical restraints. I’d love to do a version of that with God but have no idea where to start. But reading your ‘she’ pronoun felt liberating to me!
It’s such a hard subject to talk about outside a faith context. You have to grapple with all the (mostly) negative perceptions people have about believers. Then I see how some people of faith behave publicly and I cringe. I grappled with it hard when I became a Christian in my thirties from an entirely atheist position and background. Through grappling cane freedom. Stay courageous Grace!
So.much.cringe!
Thank you for sharing Grace. I too did not talk about God much when I was in school. I think I asked my friends once if they were Christian and they claimed to be just because their parents or grandparents claimed to be Christian. They had never set foot in a church or read a bible and did not in any way have a relationship with God. I feel there are a lot of people in England who claim to be Christian just because England is said to be a Christian nation, as though Christianity is by birth just like nationality.
Personally, I grew up in a Christian family. During my time in England I went to a small church and became part of that church’s community in Worksop. However, because my friends didn’t believe in God, my relationship with God was luke-warm and I would go to church just to tick the register (religion). At this point in my life, my relationship with God through Jesus Christ is at the best it has ever been and he is everything to me, my creator, father, friend, comfort, deliverer, the list goes on.
Esther, thank you for sharing this. So glad to hear that you have found god again later on in life.
Thank you very much for sharing this Grace. I find myself writing a lot about the religiosity and rules and ridiculousness of church rather than about God. I feel it makes me sound critical and cynical and occasionally ashamed that I can’t be more positive but I am increasingly seeing (in spite of how people use words about God or talk the talk), a decreasing sense of God and spirituality in the church. Many people I think do want to talk about faith, they just don’t get church... I like to say I have a faith rather than I am religious... I want to read this a couple more times as you have said much in it and this is just a jerk initial reaction to the points you make.
Yes, exactly. I suppose I'm wondering what to do with my cynicism, and whether or not I'm letting that get in the way of a fuller life?
I feel this so deeply Grace. Religion ruined my relationship with God - when I left the religion I’d been a part of from birth to 27, everyone assumed I’d left God behind too but they’re not really linked at all (especially in that particular religion). Thank you for being honest and open and sharing your version of God so beautifully x
Ahh thanks Lorna. I think lots of people feel conflicted about the religion side of things. I hope that you have some space to encounter God these days too.
Reading this, I realise that I feel the same way about God as I do music. Both were taught to me quite clinically at school, the focus on theory and the ‘talking about’ with no freedom to really feel. I wasn’t allowed to play music as I wanted to, and the version of God/religion we were taught was dogmatic and harsh (I was sent to Catholic school). So I rejected both for years. Only now, decades later, am I finding freedom to play music as I really want to, by ear, and shake off the theoretical restraints. I’d love to do a version of that with God but have no idea where to start. But reading your ‘she’ pronoun felt liberating to me!
i’m happy to read about your musical liberation, Anna!